Danielson Therapy

Mother’s Day

admin — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 21:05:18 +0000

Some of the most difficult emotional issues we will face are those that we have within our own relationships. Relationships with family and other loved ones are the foundation of our lives. It is within the solace of our close ties to others that we seek sanctuary from the hectic and stressful worlds in which we find ourselves as we go about our usual routines. We need our relationships to nurture, restore and sustain us. When something goes wrong we can hurt very deeply, but that hurt can guide us toward healing, strengthening and the preservation of those things truly important to us.

The primary relationships of our lives impact us even as we evolve through countless changes over the course of a lifetime. Some profound relationships were short-lived. Some were tragic because we wanted or needed more intimacy than we were able to have. And, of course, it is in relationship to others that we have made our fondest memories, learned our most cherished lessons and become who we are today. Our relationships ground us, encourage us and inspire us. In every life there are heroes.

The month of May brings us the beauty of spring. It also reminds us to honor the most basic bond we can imagine: that between a child and a mother. As the Earth becomes new each spring, we are reminded by our tradition of Mother’s Day that we, too, began as new, tender, vibrant and full of promise. Mother’s Day is not simply for mothers. It is also for the child that we all are or were — the child of 3 and the child of 83 — we all reflect upon who sustained us, who pulled us close to mother us.

For many, this time of year is sorrowful. We miss our mothers who are no longer with us. We yearn for the solace of their love and protection. As someone once told me very poignantly, “No matter how old we are when our mothers die; we will always feel orphaned at that point”. We may miss the physical reminders of our significant bonds, but we never forget them and we can relive them in our hearts and minds at any moment.

As Mother’s Day draws near, perhaps you can remember those who have mothered you. Who held you to comfort you? Who watched over you? Who taught you the necessities of living and loving?

And remember, “to mother” is not always tied to gender. Some of the most nurturing relationships we will ever have transcend those cultural barriers. I hope you will remember whoever has given you your own safe harbor, nurturance and guidance during the celebration of Mother’s Day this year. Take time in your own moments of reflection and gratitude to hold those people close and to honor those relationships. Happy Mother’s Day!

Affirmations Can Change Your Life

admin — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 05:41:12 +0000

Affirmations create a positive mindset and can upgrade the quality of your life by helping you let go of stress, change your mood and achieve your goals. The power of affirmations doesn’t stop there. In fact, whatever you set out to tackle with affirmations can respond if you are willing to put in the time and if you are tenacious. This is because affirmations work at a deep level and tackle the self-sabotaging beliefs that keep us from being our best and feeling our best.
Our beliefs are the engines of our lives. They govern how we see ourselves and our abilities. They determine what we think is possible for ourselves. Our beliefs define our limits, our expectations and the risks we will take in shaping our experience. Consequently, what we believe about ourselves, others and the world will determine what we aspire to, how we interact and what we set about to do with our lives.
To get started with positive affirmations, it is helpful to remember that all of our thoughts affirm something but many of us think in negative statements such as fear, worry and doubt — if not consistently, at least during a good portion of the day. These are the thoughts or affirmations of stress:
· I can’t…
· I’ll never…
· I don’t want to…
· I’m afraid that…
All of these affirm personal limitations and a negative experience. To change such thoughts into positive affirmations we simply change the wording in our self-talk. Our limiting statements become:
· I can…
· I will…
· I want…
· I am…
These become positive affirmations because they empower us. I can positively affirms our abilities and our competence. It opens up the pathway to achievement. Unlike its negative counterpart I can’t, I can moves us forward with support and optimism.
I will does the same. It sets out toward the future with a goal and achievement in mind.
I want creates a personal vision out of what we desire and what we are inspired to do. It makes a positive and creative statement. Its counterpart, I don’t want to embeds the things we dislike, fear, worry about and dread into our personal vision. Consequently, if we continually affirm what we don’t want through self-talk about the negative things we fear and dread, then we affirm for ourselves and our lives a negative personal vision. A negative personal vision is also a creative vision!
Create a positive personal vision for yourself and your life. Monitor your self-talk and listen to your negative, limiting beliefs. Change these into statements of positivity. Talk to yourself about your positive goals in empowered and creative ways! Make it so in your thoughts. Reinforce this powerful way of thinking about yourself, your relationships and your goals by writing positive statements every day. There is no right or wrong as long as you are supporting and empowering yourself. Be creative with your affirmation and you will be creative with your life.

Into Your Light

admin — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 05:34:57 +0000

The seasons turn in every part of the world no matter what the climate or geography. Some of us must look carefully for nature’s markings at this time of rejuvenation. Others will experience dramatic differences as the snow melts and tender shoots part the wintry soil growing into the light. As the world rejuvenates itself we do as well. We venture out into our own new prospects of growth. We are creatures of nature and we cycle accordingly.
In the winters of our lives, we are introspective. The sun has receded from us so we settle into our ‘caves’ for rest, reflection and dreams. Our hibernations may be subtle, but we, too, move in sync with the dimming light and the dormancy of nature. In these times, we are far from inactive. Our activity is an internal one — we remember who we are and how we work. At the height of our wintry ‘darkness’ we celebrate our spiritual selves and turn our reflections to the miracles of our faith that light will once again return to guide us.
As the earth shifts to lean us once again into the light, spring fulfills the promise of rejuvenation and birth. What we have reflected upon now moves toward realization. Our cave dreams, and our inspirations ‘fished’ up from introspection, send their tender buds into the world with intention.
In the spring of our lives, we act upon our deepest nudgings and we not only do this in our youth, but we become young and hopeful again every year. We come alive as the world enters its newfound light. We sow our seeds and till our soil. We are expectant.
Action takes us into our harvest and our action begins gently. It is a stirring, a notion, an inspiration. There is no hurry and no anxiety toward realizing our dreams. Instead, there are natural processes, rhythms and movement. All comes in due time and if we watch nature closely we see an unfolding and evolving– nature’s own wisdom.
In introspection and self reflection, we listen to our own inner workings — our dreams, inspirations, our own rhythms and processes. In our winters we align ourselves with these so that in our springs we may move with them toward the fulfillment of our dreams. Our dreams unfold in due time if we tend to them, planting them in fertile ground and exposing them to light. They will germinate.
Be aware of your own nature and work inside it to realize your dreams. Let your dreams unfold and nurture them. Enjoy your spring!

Loving Yourself

admin — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 07:38:20 +0000

Many of us spend so much of our time waiting and wanting to be loved. We sometimes hope that love will find us because we are searching and yearning for that exceptional special love. Some of us may feel empty or lost without it. We must remember that love is just not a feeling, it is also a choice. Make the choice to love yourself. After all, who deserves it more? The more loving you are to yourself, the more loving you will be able to be to everyone around you. Think about what you need to fill that emptiness inside, that place that is longing for love. Begin loving and valuing yourself. It is said that you are unable to give away what you do not have. So, if you are not able to love and accept yourself unconditionally, how in the world are you going to love and accept anyone else unconditionally? Much less accept that love in return from them? The greatest love of all is the love that you give yourself. There are many ways for us to love and to care for ourselves, the possibilities are infinite. An important way to love yourself is to nourish and care for your body such as eating healthy foods and exercising regularly. Another way you can learn to love yourself is by being in the practice of using positive affirmations. Take some time to come up with the qualities that you most want to embody. Choose about two or three to focus on for one month period of time. Go ahead and Love yourself. Be good to yourself. Treat yourself well. Replenish yourself. You will soon discover that, the more you love yourself, the more you will be able to give love to others and the more others will want to be around you and give back to you. Loving yourself will ultimately benefit the lives of others you encounter, as well as your own life.

Stress

admin — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 07:24:27 +0000

Modern day life is full of stress. Every one of us faces different kinds of stress and follows various ways to keep him or her safe from the adverse effects of stress. To some it seems that stress is simple, but in fact it is not. Medical science proves it that stress is something you should try to avoid. If you are stressed, you should try and calm your nerves down. Stress can be a decisive factor that can spoil your health. It can be a major cause of bringing down your morale and also, it can create problems in your personal life. People who are stressed some times spoil their jobs, careers and even relationships. It is important that you do your best to fight it.
When you are under any kind of stress, your body shows it. For some people extreme anxiety due to stress means an acidic stomach or diarrhea. In other cases, people start feeling nauseated. I feel really uptight and frazzled when I am stressed. Still, some of the people have troubles with their blood pressure and some get headaches. Depending on the level of stress, the nervous system also responds in some manner to the stress your mind and body is bearing.
If you are stressed, it is important that you try to recover from it without medication first. The first thing you need to do in this regard is to see the reason of your stress. When you are stressed, there has to be a reason. If you are failing in studies, you may feel its stress. If your job is too tough and you are not getting proper sleep, again, you might feel stressed. If an important relationship in your life is about to end, that can also cause the trouble. It is a great achievement if you can identify the cause of stress. If possible, attempt to sort out the issue out of which this stress is originating. Do your best to study harder to pass your exam, or pay more attention to your office work, etc. If, however, this does not seem to be enough, you should consult your psychotherapist.
Stress might have adverse effects on your mind. Extremely overwhelmed people sometimes have suicidal ideation. Before you ever get to that point resolve this health issue before it is too late. Consult your doctor or psychiatrist to see if you may need medication to calm your nerves. Your psychotherapist can guide you to see what your cause of stress is if you are not able to by yourself and find the solution.

Victim Vs. Responsible

admin — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 07:17:41 +0000

Taking responsibility for where you are in life is very important. This is something I know from experience. Sometimes we feel that we would be better off or somewhere else, if we would of did a certain thing instead of what we did. We are unable to go back to yesterday and we can move forward to today and fix whatever it is that we need to. There are those that see themselves as the victim for there situation such as being the victim to the weather, the economy, their spouse, their family, or even God.

The first step to success is admitting failure. Admitting that you failed is okay. Accepting some level of responsibility for your circumstances produces a whole different set of emotions than being a victim. Simply ask yourself this question, “What choice did I make that allowed this circumstance to happen?” No one is perfect and that is something that we all must understand.

If you do not like where you are at in life currently, you can change that and be where you want to be. You might not get to where you want right away, however you will get there eventually because everything takes time. Now, on the other hand some feel they need to blame their problems or issues on someone else. Even if it is someone else’s fault, you can still find a solution to that problem and repair it. Sometimes I feel that I would be in a better place in my life if I would have made better choices. I have made some good choices, however they were not the best and I have also made bad choices, but they were not the worst. Believe it or not, there is someone else going through the same exact thing you are, so you are not alone. There are many things that we can do to change and make a difference. If you need to talk to someone, do so. Talking is one of the best ways to relieve stress, because you let it all out and you’re letting someone else know how you really feel.

Putting a guard or wall up really does not protect you from much. It is okay to let others in from time to time. Writing down your feelings is also another good way to alleviate stress. Staying positive is very good. Think only good positive things and positive things will come back to you. You are what you think. Making everyday count is important. If today was not the best day tomorrow will much better. You are your own boss and no one else is. You are only responsible for your actions and your actions only.

Recession Depression

admin — Fri, 22 May 2009 17:45:09 +0000

Have you been adversely affected by the economic recession? Are you struggling emotionally? Do you feel like the walls are closing in on you? Are you wondering how long it will last? You are suffering from recession depression.
Learn to overcome your fear and live above it. Learn to thrive during difficult times.
The only things that keep you from success and emotional health are you and your ghosts of fear. There are six ghosts of fear: The fear of loss, the fear of not recovering what you lost, the fear of failing, the fear of success, and the fear of getting it all back. You may be feeling ‘broke,’ both financially and emotionally, but you have the power to rise above your fears, to not give in to hopelessness. What you do in the here and now is what counts. Your situation is only temporary; you can emerge on the other side a better and stronger person by healthfully handling the current crises in your life.
Take a deep breath and take a good look at your life. Yes, things are tough right now, but it’s time to reevaluate and appreciate the positives: your health, your family, your friends… Do not waste time and energy on what you have lost; focus on your successes. Stay positive. Determine your goals and make a plan so that you can work towards them every day. Whether it’s working on your resume, applying for jobs, networking with old friends, or spending quality time with your family, make every day count.
Always look forward. Life’s most important four inches are in your head (your brain). And you are in control of it.

Holiday Fitness

admin — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 19:30:02 +0000

Staying Fit During The Holidays

No matter what holiday you celebrate, extra food and drink are usually a big part of them. Staying fit and trim during the holidays can be a tough road to march. But all is not lost. Here are some tips and tricks that will help get you through this holiday season with your dignity – and waistline – intact.

Don’t Get Caught Hungry

One of the biggest diet-busters is getting caught hungry. When you do, you end up eating whatever’s in front of you regardless of how healthy it is – or isn’t. Plan your schedule so you don’t get stuck at a holiday party hungry, or pack a protein bar so if you do, you have a healthy alternative.

Find Reasonable Alternatives

Love mashed potatoes with your turkey? Find a good recipe for mashed cauliflower. Try sugarless or fat-free chocolate pudding instead of fat-laden chocolate mousse. Or if the bowl of holiday candy is calling your name, try a low-fat granola bar instead.

Don’t Give It All Up

It is the holidays, so live a little. Have one cookie instead of ten, have a slice of pie, but pass on the whipped cream. By indulging just a little, you’ll have a little more fun this holiday – but pace yourself!

Up The Exercise Before The Holidays

Increase your exercise routine before the holiday season comes along. You’ll lean down, but more importantly, your metabolism will get a boost. This will help you burn off the excess holiday cheer a little quicker.

Limit Alcohol

Alcohol has a lot of carbohydrates and calories. Cut down on alcohol and find non-calorie alternatives like water and unsweet iced-tea. You’ll shave hundreds of calories off your holiday intake and avoid an embarrassing office-party mishap!